paradise

Date: Friday, March 29, 2019 11:52

Hey, 

Sounds like a rad day! 

Some housekeeping: Can you quit replying to [redacted]? Its screwing with my folder. I don't know why it's doing what it's doing, but on my end it's quadrilateral annoying. 

Anyway, this is a really sweet letter. Totally jazzed. 

Chemistry's still a bit left of center – it's what happens when you take too many psych pills too close together and the body kablooeys in response. I'm trying to keep it sane, I really am, but I've got a vein of self-loathing growing underneath my skin that feels like it's never gonna get mined out.... this biochemical depression (or depggression) thing a thang hurts, just hurts. Like, oy. I've grappled with a smidge of suicidal thought lately and since I've been practicing radical honesty as of late, I hvbe to disclose such tendencies.... and it's just.... 

it's just a shitshow in my mind when the appropriate pills and chemical adjuvants aren't applied. 

I'm such a fussy gas tank, my dude. 

Ah, but let me sidestep that a bit and go awlk to my samsung camera (which I love) to hustle up this quick selfie I shot with rocket (who I love). 

on

e moment....

lol you know what didn't work? 

USB Samsung transfer. 

The rivalry is REAL. 

So what I did is the more punk rock way of handling things, which is take a picture of a picture. 

It's more REAL that way anyway. Then you see the image through the screen of the samsung, itself a beaten up Amazing Thing. On day I'll get her screen replaced and she won't have to be held together by a rubberband. 

We are all just holding the fuck together by rubberbands!

My pinky especially. I try and try and try to hit Shift with my left pinky but I just can't fuckin' hack it. Type rates plunge to the mid thirties. I can't left shift if i tried. the thing they say about habits is also real. Mavis Beacon taught me ASDF are left home keys, but psychoheuristicrealism conditions my lefty home keys to WERF. 

Haha. 

WERF. or WERG depending. 

JKL'.

And thi sis how I hit those speeds of mellifluous thought, I think. By edging up on a keyboard like a kid oabut to relay edges up on the tarmac. You can tell how I typo. I have fast ring fingers. 

Whatever. What are we talking about? always goes back to some thing about mechanics. 

I throw so many hours down this hole

omg what 

this reminds .me 

me. 

ha typos. 

this reminds me that I want to call my constituents/customers/audience and queries them for their preferences on one of our recent products. That's amazing. 

I'm hypomanic, I just remembered. I'm hypomanic and depending on the minute, depressed. I have to keep myself actively engaged on a project of some sort (FUCK YES FRIDAY, after all) instead of checking myself in mirrors or GOD FORBID checking my iMessages for notes from boys or friends. Mostly boys. I'm stuck stupid on this one kid and I wish I could just scalpel him hte fuck out of my mind for the rest of my life, ebcause he's really an idiot and not worth my time. Im not talking about you right now by the way, I'm talking about [redacted]. 

In other news, I'm mommying the fuck up altely nad creating Instant Pot sparkles worthy of some sort of regional Instant Pot cookout. My rice OR tapioca pudding game is highly on point and I also

— 

Can I stay awake any longer? 

.:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:.

Words, Ideas, Magic(k) ©   Zem at BeTheFuture . Confidential communication. Protected by US & International law.

On Fri, Mar 29, 2019, at 10:58, Typing Practice wrote:

Zemma,

What a day!

We all received email from the CEO saying we should take the four afternoon hours to write thanks/appreciation email to two or three people in the organization we felt most deserved it. How's that for a place to work?

And it gets even better. Coworker Jen suddenly burst into my chat to let me in on the fact that what that really meant was “thank a couple/three people, then take the rest of the day off”... and there I was, honestly going to put four hours into three thank you notes.... :–)

I mean, is that the essence of fucking vneck, or what?

Anyway, yeah, I feel a little guilty for attempting to tie up so much of your time/life. But I've gotta tell you, dude, I'm less able to refrain from wanting to communicate with you than I am from common biological lust even when the curves and angles and motions and sounds seem to be pleading-ordering-screaming out for maximum seed. I'm not even exactly sure why. I'll have to spent some time theorizing sometime, and send you the report. Not that you have time for it, of course.

Shit, man, and the timing of this afternoon off couldn't be better. Not only am I off all next week, but [redacted] went out to breakfast with someone, and then went straight to her hometown to spend the afternoon with a daughter and the grandchildren (culminating in seeing “Dumbo”, I believe).

I picked a fuck of a time to stop drinking, goddamnit............