Hello, I am a 300-odd trillion year old lightbeing taking the form of a human, perpetually writing blogs since the mid 1990s.

Conspiratorial Pissings, Lyricless Kerfuffle

Whoooa, just realised both my last posts didn't take. has a thing against me.

Do ya, guys?

Taking a short little “coffee” (matcha and writeas) break from my totally kick ass worknight. Thought I'd drop in and be up a hello.

Speaking of being up a hello


Fucking love that album. Great work music. For me, anywayzle.

Tonight's playlist:

Hours and hours of lyricless electro background noise arranged in musical pentameter

Also layered in the kerfuffle is a 13.8 Hz binaural tone.

And a smattering of vitamins. B complex, magnesium taurate, oestrogen blockers, lithium orotate, butterbur extract, 350 mg centrophenoxine, and 200 mg lamictal. All in all that's a real fine alchemie swirling for me there, and I super recommend it!

Tell me what YOU are listening to?

Another day in, Paradise

— .:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:. published not proofread. #NeverLookBackspace! Words, Ideas, Magic copyrighted by Zem in Paradise. this is confidential communication. Protected by US and International law.

How Girls Talk is a documentary series following the mundane text conversations of two long distance bffs. We post this as sociological study for you, and as nostalgic reminiscent savoring for us. Nothing profound, just two girls sharing space together.

Paradise: Secret Genius: Cookies and sour candy make quitting sugar so hard. Yes there are alternatives but I’m lazy and not into food prep I was just thinking about this Paradise: Um oranges. Are sugar and sour candy all in one


Oookay, buckling up, it's THAT day where I close all my browser tabs because insanity cuppeth runneth over.

In any which way, I'm going to drop my threads here to gather later, when I have more time to air out my brain.

So one of my hobbies about 3 weeks ago was programming my portable EEG.

So I could play video games with it.



Good morning,!

Haven't talked to you in about a week. Been busy in my paradisiacal neck of the neon.

CJ's LFL mention reminds me of all the LFLs I've been the FIRST TO REVIEW ON my shared account on YELP (I write about the cool hidden stuff, my SO writes about the mundane). A badge of honor I cherish, because bringing more people to a little free library means more books for me to steal, annotate, and gingerly return.

It reminds me of a project I was doing for a dying friend, who's y2k blogs that have since gone offline really could have benefitted from an old school longform zine publication. A project I am still dedicated to doing (someday). Crazy wacky Neo Zen Buddhism, proto Tony Robbins (without the abusive screaming and philandering). Yup, its a whole roundup of text that, when implanted into sensitive young minds, can change the course of history. Or herstory, depending on which letter of the chromosome you're eyeballing earth from.

That's millennium charm for ya.


Mastermind: Yeah shopify is way better at selling shopify than it is products. See how whats-her-fuck does it too her site is real simple and chunky i love how she doesnt use fancy shit kardashian’s Mastermind: Yeah when u feel like it: ask in chat how to manually change the SIZE of the product font IN TEH CODE because in settings it only defaults to this small size we need to edit our code manually but you don’t know where Paradise: Ok. Yeah Arapey sucks. Yeah our font is wretched for readability We have to scrap it absolutely Paradise: omg. Kim. haha: “Its silky and has brightening pearls. Buy it stupid girl” Mastermind: oh shit they actually say stupid girl!!?! YEAH so see where to cHANGE IT Paradise: We need another readable font Helvetica now? .. though I think that’s probably not the way to go... Two sans-serifs on the page. Ick. I’ll find a good serif font that is tested high for readability on screens Thats all that matters. High readability... so we can get our text into peoples BRAINS Paradise: No they didn’t say stupid girl, but the way they are using all caps and blunt wording MIGHT AS WELL ADD RADIANCE STUPID MAKE YOUR FACE FRESH AND AWAKENED STUPID WHAT KIND OF WOKE BITCH R U IF U CANT DO THAT STOP MISSING OUT BITCH ENTER YOUR FUCKING EMAIL SO YOU CAN BE PRETTY NO ONE LIKES YOU AS U ARE That’s what KK is subtexting >_< I’m dying that’s hilarious Mastermind: Kuntstache.

Pro tip: I mean, this should be completely obvious, but don't use fonts called aRAPEy. Arapey? A rape-y font? A rapey, unreadable font?

The 💡idea💡 is to make love 💋 to the reader's eyes. 👀 Not, um, #metoo them. 🍆🚷

Lessons learned.

And. Thanks, Kim. For your brutal capslock warlock schlock getting insecure women to follow your cock. Well played, big K.

/me smashing that publishplane.

Another day in, Paradise

— .:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:..:~:. published not proofread. #NeverLookBackspace! Words, Ideas, Magic copyrighted by Zem in Paradise. this is confidential communication. Protected by US and International law.

Yo, write: I'm on the hunt for an Apple iiGs, so if anyone has the hookup, lmk.

And many — many — floppy disks.

(From back when disk had a K at the end. smirk.)

Tx/brgds, Paradise.

Secret Genius: Didn’t you say you had a good mushrooms connect? Can I have it again Any sort of psychedelic really


The more I write, the happier I am. Written communication brings a calm, natural feeling over my soul.

Do you feel that way?

I deeply appreciate the ability to write persuasively, colloquially.

It's one of life's greatest skills.

And it is a skill, mind you. This isn't innate talent. Anyone can write. Especially when they practice. When one digs in and starts throwing down words — editing and re-editing — OR NOT — until something wonderful comes out.

There's something very tactile, very craftsman-like about massaging messages into place. To an artiste, there's always more to say and better ways to say it. Pieces aren't ever “done”, they just stand for now.

I weave in and out. I zoom into text, I sit back in my chair to take it all in. Back, forth, back, forth. Wondering what the audience sees. Sometimes I zoom REEEEally far out — this is called stepping away from the desk and going to get some ice cream — and that helps a bit. Distance. Making the heart grow fonder. Or. Making the mind go wander.


I'm happy to report that they are all now completely and unapologetically annihilated. (With no help from me – this was their own doing)

Honestly I come in here with zero outline or zero idea of what I'm going to say, and while the open window is blank, I just go for it.

I'm starting to get really excited for the Blues and want to see them win the Stanley. Did you know they've never won a Stanley? And only one of the kids on that team has even gotten to a Playoff before? And that their goaltender is a ROOKIE, and that during the season they were DEAD LAST?